You may have heard this one but

[Nasty Fasty]

A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"
__________________

[Nasty Fasty]

A letter from the Boss

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President
and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way.
To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%.
But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to
lay off sixty of our employees instead.
This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go.
So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty "Obama" bumper stickers on our
employees cars and have deceided these folks will be the ones to let go.
I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem.
They voted for change,
I gave it to them

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.