When insults had class

[scott s]

When Insults Had Class

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."  --Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." -- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -- Groucho Marx

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -- Mark Twain
 

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." – Oscar Wilde
 

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... If you have one." – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill . .  followed by Churchill's response - "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one." – Winston Churchill
 

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." -- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." -- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." -- Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." -- Paul Keating

"He had delusions of adequacy." -- Walter Kerr

"Why do you sit there looking like an  envelope without any address on it?" -- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." -- Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -- Oscar Wilde

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a dinner party, "Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee! " Winston replied, "Madam if I were your husband I would drink it!"

[TunedBoost]

very nice, I'm gonna use some of those to sound smart 

[skeeter!]

Wait.... what about "Up your nose with a rubber hose", courtesy Welcome Back Kotter?

[Jim Gillum Racing]

How about up your ass with a piece of glass.

[Kathy Lachance Post]

"Sit on it!" 

[Dougy Dee]

A few more from a previous post...

http://www.cal-look.com/forum/index.php?topic=22541.msg232393#msg232393