You guys wouldn't believe this trip yesterday! FYI, we towed at 58 MPH most of the way, and I (believe it or not) didn't have to drive as they earlier
suggested! We didn't get a ticket, but that would have been the icing on the cake!
This story is stupid, crazy, unbelievable, and full of adventure (not the good kind) but I did learn many lessons yesterday that I will never forget! So sit back and enjoy, and try to imagine some of the people you know who are just as inexperienced, naive, and unprepared as my friends. Like my Dad always tells me, "Ignorance is bliss."
While they may be the nicest guys on the planet (which they are) as well as great friends, they have a LOT to learn at 25 years old.
As I mentioned, my buddies (twin brothers) asked me a few weeks ago if I would go with them to pick up a 70 challenger using their boss' trailer with their truck. We left Santa Rosa at 8:45 after picking the trailer up and hooking everything up (I left my place at 7:30 to get to their place at 8:30). If you've ever seen one of those humorous safety posters that says "Can you spot the 10 things wrong in this pic?", this situation would be the equivalent but with towing
!
We hook the trailer up and first off, I have them run the signals and lights....No running lights on the trailer (One buddy says "It's daytime, we don't need running lights unless we're driving at night!"-Famous last words). We head off in the truck with all the windows down and the heater switch for the interior vent is broken leaving the hot "vent" on (which I didn't figure out until half way down after asking "WTF, is the heater on cause my legs are roasting?")
It is like 85 degrees or more the entire way down, the truck temp is fairly steady, and about 40 miles from Madera the brother driving notices the charging system is at about 9 volts (gauge). The temp guage is a little higher (after I told him "switch out of overdrive" like 1000 times and at one particular moment, he hits first gear going up the windy uphill grade on 680(?) doing 45 MPH and "rides it there"
.
We get to Madera at just after 1 o'clock, pull into the driveway (sweet shop behind the sellers house with a paved road and all) and this "car" is sitting there waiting for us to load it up. Whatever wasn't swiss cheese on this heap was bondo, but most of it was cheese...the body from the rear spring purches back was torched off, car lacked a drivers side floorboard, was a shell with a hood, both doors, one quarter window, and a TON of rusty junk like the crossmember that must have been in the saltwater sea for the last 10 years. Turns out, they bought it off of EBAY for $325
! That's right, we made this stupid trip for a $325 "car" and spent over $600 to get down there and back!
After loading up the car and heading for the gas station (subway time!
) the charging system is now in the upper portion of the "red" zone. I tell them to hit the nearest town and find a Kragen or whatever so we can get an alternator and battery. We get back on the highway (against my better judgement) and finally (after about 10 miles or so) come to Merced and find a Carquest parts house which has the parts we need in stock and closes at 3:00 (it's now 2:40 as we take the off ramp). We get there and I guess they used an account (carquest maybe
) or credit card to "buy" the parts since they (as you probably guessed) only brought $40 between the 2 of them-which is in proportion when towing a $325 car on a borrowed trailer and driving a 160,000 mile truck that was given to them for free!
Engine is now hot as hell, the truck died in the parking lot (thank God or whoever
), the parts house is closed, and the battery holddown screw is rusted to the rusty battery tray. I managed to swap the alternator out and use dykes to strip and crimp the connections, and they managed to pry the holddown up far enough to slip the "hot" battery in place. As I'm sure you've figured out, we have the bare minimum of tools to use, they had to buy a few sockets, we borrowed visegrips from the VW/Audi car dealership next door, everything I touched was either hot, wornout, broken, about to be broken, or longgone, and I was doing 90% of the work since I have the biggest brain and the smallest hands!
Both serpentine belts are cracked to the point they are almost 3 pc. belts, the valve cover gaskets are leaking, and the + battery terminal is already cracked from "someone(s)" prying on it to loosen it. Obviously they did the "full service" on this truck like I asked them about before we left!
Somewhere around 4:15 I finally get the truck started, we get back on the road, and about 2 hours later, everything settles down (finally!). The truck is running much cooler, I'm not pissed off and panicked, and we had some time to "woof" down a late lunch and let it "kick in". At this point, we are heading back over "the hill" and the brother driving actually listens to me and runs it in 3rd and 2nd at a much slower pace (even though the "semis are passing us!"
... It's not a race guys!). We get to the Benica bridge and yep, you got it....They have no $ for bridge toll! Lucky they brought me along with my $175 and a brain. By the time Vallejo is in sight, the sun is really going down (luckily they had there mom follow us for taillights...which we didn't need afterall).
Now you're probably thinking that the above mentioned was the best part of the story-It's not! This is by far the best part of this (sad but true
) story. We make it all the way back to the shop, open the gates pull in, and one of the brothers pulls out the VIN # from his pocket, at which point I ask the completely obvious question "You did get a title, Bill of sale, and/or bring a print out of the Ebay auction listing with you right?" I don't even need to tell you the answer to that question-But if you're wondering it was "No...we don't need it, we're making this car into a drag car!" ...How silly of me to ask
Closing thoughts:
Riding in that old heap was all but joyous, especially with those damn 33" mud and snow tires on the truck "whining" for us the entire trip. I'm still scratching my head as to why the door locks went "haywire" whenever the Overdrive switch was activated (maybe something to do with a crossed wire sending direct current to the locks instead of through a relay or whatever
..But what the hell do I know?!?).
After 9 months of chemotherapy and major surguries, I am not able to handle the heat like I used to! Especially because I'm now 145lbs dripping wet with a loaded wallet
(used to be 170lbs.). Lucky I came prepared to sit in the sun half the day!
Never load a car onto a trailer (that's attached to YOUR tow vehicle) unless it has PAPERWORK!!! We are Damn lucky we didn't get pulled over (for speeding on the downgrades while using cruise control...Or the fact the running lights didn't work...Or that the bed had no tie down hooks and I had to "rig" the ratcheting straps to the underside of the fenders that passed right in front of the rear tires:o)
Mapquest is
very helpful and useful (check it out if you tow a lot!), but I would recommend getting written directions as well (duh!)! At almost 26 years old, I don't have time to waste taking useless trips like these! This is child's play and I want NO part of it!
Next time I am going to be the "dumb" one in the truck so I don't have to "fix" all the loose ends of a (potientially catastrophic) trip. Hanging out with smarter people doesn't make you look stupid!
My buddies (whom I've known since college) have the same Associate's degree in Automotive Technology as I do but nowhere near the level of maturity, understanding, or common sense they need for these types of trips!
Note to self: Stay away from these situations and next time just say "I'm busy!"
Please feel free to entertain me now with your funny stupid and silly towing adventures! I could use a good laugh after yesterday!
-Andy
